Missing shards and cracked clay....
It's Saturday...the morning after the shooting in Conneticut where 26 lives were cut short.....I sit in my friend's living room, numb and asking God for comfort...all I could think about were the children in my life and how much I just wanted to hold them. So, what follows is just my processing from that morning....
"The eyes of the Lord are in every place,
watching the evil and the good." Proverbs 15:3
Da- you see- you do not stand aside or turn away or ignore...You see and your heart is broken and filled with grief and pain. Your arms ache to hold, your throat tightens with a voice clogged and the wail of anguish is so deep there is no sound. You long for the invitation...to be allowed in, to be given permission to enter.
You see and when invited, you rush in like a refreshing breeze in a stifled place and in your gentleness you pick up the broken pieces and hold them in your hands. Your heart's eye sees the orginal masterpiece and though you are saddened by the result of destruction you, being the Creator, begin to slowly smile. A light burns in your eyes and with the kindness of unfamthomable grace and mercy, instead of throwing away the broken work, you sit down and with new clay you begin to put back together the broken pieces.
You see- you do not stand aside or turn away or ignore...You wait for an invitation. You see- the shards that were stolen and grieve, but you also see the pieces that remain and you fit them together and fill in the cracks and smooth the rough jagged edges- soon the piece takes shape. It is not exactly like the old, but it does resemble it. Now it has new, stronger lines, deeper ridges, longer curves and higher sides. It's capacity for use has grown and become more versatile. It is the same core, but yet an almost completely different functional piece.
You see- you set it aside for a short time to harden the new clay- allowing the pieces to join, settle and the permanence of change- to rest a little. Then you wait. Time, just a little, just enough- you have a plan- there will be a firing in the kiln and the finish will be immaculate but first some decorating on the outside, a little paint and polish to lighten some of the clay color and a little joy in the anticipation of all the possibilities available to make this piece all it could be.
You see. You wait. Time. The cracks are still visible, but no longer weak or raw, in the right light and at the right angle you can tell they are there. They are no longer the focal point of the piece. They are a reminder now of the masterful work of grace and mercy, of the broken heart, tight throated anguish that once was and has now been turned to joy, to wholeness, to hope.
You see it all, and though I don't understand why I have peace. You see and I know I can trust. You see and because you see I have hope.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Niko September 2012
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| September Niko 2012 |
We just completed our last Niko of the summer. It was an amazing time. We had a group from our Basic Leadership school from YWAM Salem and another college age group from Corvallis, Oregon. I have included this note below from one of the staff who came and participated with us and brought the group from Corvallis. God deserves all the praise! He is always about His work in such loving ways.
"I wanted to let you all know that I was so blessed this year at NIKO. All of us girls, including M... and C...., were sad to leave by the time it was finished. It was a great foundational block to lay for the beginning of the year and there is a love that is forming between all of us.
I wanted to say thanks on my part. You guys are so full of Jesus it shines so bright. The wisdom and discernment I saw made me want to seek Jesus more. You have an anointing to speak into peoples lives words of truth and it's something I'm asking Jesus to instill greater in me.
The love and respect you had for each other and for all the participants was sincere. You trusted everyone despite the possibility of failure, which in the end produced greater growth.
I have a passion to worship Jesus and lead others into worship. When in lived in the DR I found a freedom in leading worship. I never experienced it before...but the grace that was poured out on me to mess up, to not be perfect...It unlocked a door that I had no idea how to unlock, though I was trying and trying. I haven't experienced it since being back here in the States.
I experienced it again at NIKO. I messed up, I wasn't perfect, I struggled at times. But I felt such a grace from everyone to just be. To not rest in my own strength but rest in Jesus. I never once felt shame at the end of worship. because once again i was able to just purely worship Jesus and not feel like people were looking for a performance.
Anyways. Thanks for all you guys do. it is impacting the Kingdom."
I just wanted to share what you have all been a part of both in prayer and support. Thank you for furthering the Kingdom by partnering together in this ministry!
Blessings,
Rhoda
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
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| Astoria Oregon at the site of a ship wreck |
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| Sunday Drive...a little point and shoot time... |
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| Sunset in a puddle...south east Salem |
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| Always amazed by the way God paints the sky |
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| ..a little light and shadow.. |
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| .....friends who can appreciate an Oregon beach in February... |
I wanted to share a few pictures from last month in no particular order. I love all the seasons in Oregon. I love the light and how it changes the world to bright colors of green, blue and red....even gray is beautiful in the right light. Made me think of people....in the right light....we're each an amazing creation of God. How often do I view people through the light of their circumstances or mine rather than simply choose to see them as made in God's image and unique? It gives grace and compassion a whole new definition. I heard a quote the other day that stuck with me. "Circumstances are not the barometer of God's love for us...the cross is." Circumstances only tell us we are in a situation....the cross tells us that no matter what we see now, we are loved that much....even to the point of death. Light makes all the difference.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
"Be still and know that I am God". Ps. 46:10
I have been pondering on a thing or two and thought I'd throw it out there...for what it's worth...take it with a grain of salt. This post box reminded me of something God has been putting on my heart as of late.
'Story'-what is story, what is it to really engage in someone's Story, to be fully present in being with them in the midst of either the writing, telling or retelling of someone's life? I have had many a person tell me their story and likewise shared my own. I have had story described to me as where my story and God's story overlap like two circles-a description of relationship with God. I have heard it described as the 'old man' and the 'new man'. The difference between Savior and Lordship. I have heard it described as 'testimony'. These descriptions are good, but lately they have felt hollow. Those all seem so cathartic, almost get rid of one and it no longer affects the other. I think Story is messier than that, although it is true in the sense of value, our value only comes on the merits of God's grace and nothing we have done. The Story isn't cut, dry, or clean. I think God has been speaking to me that when it comes to Story, it is sentences, chapters, plots, characters, books and series. Sometimes I have no clue what or where the author is heading, but I tag along to see anyway. Almost a raw anticipation and then a holding of my breath for the next turn in the plot. Sometimes I can't even keep up with all the characters or connections. All the time looking for the message in the pages, the endless width of a binding....people are like that-from one moment to the next we change lines, phrases and chapters-do I take the time to read the plot or sometimes walk with them as they write?
I wondered at the story behind the post box. Who lived there and what was their life like? The box was rough, dinged, dented, faded in color, but it was what was inside that received and delivered the messages....available space. Story-needs available space...I think for me that is what 'be still and know that I am God' from Psalm 46:10 means....making a place of available space to live Story in those He chooses to put in my life. Whatever the outside, whatever the plot in the paragraphs-do I make available space for Story when I am with others? What is it to 'be still', 'to know', 'that I am God'? There is a lot of rawness to that sentence....a lot of room is needed to explore for the answers and to be vulnerable, really vulnerable...space implies the removal of one thing to make room for something to fill it....He's working on my availability...'know that I am God'...when I think of His character, making available space-that's a lot easier to swallow. It also makes me stop and ask Him for the where, when and with who I spend the time He's giving me...
I have concluded one thing in this rambling and rumbling around with God on Story and people. There is no substitute when I take the time for others...to walk, to listen and sometimes to write Story with them...the joy and life that flows into my own Story always surprises and amazes me. There was this old farmer that lived close to where I grew up in Ireland. He'd come over to our house and share a cup of tea and the way he used his adjectives to describe something always intrigued me...if he was impressed with something he'd say, "That is fierce lovely!" Sounds best with an Irish accent, however, when I see the picture of the old post box and wonder about the owners story, think about people and Story, I agree with the farmer..."that is fierce lovely".
Sunday, September 25, 2011
...and when the sun rises, I see His faithfullness...
...a blog...well there's a first time for everything...I am not known for being savy with technology...newsletters on paper are almost a thing of the past...when you work in an organization called Youth With A Mission...you quickly learn how sometimes 'old' you feel because you still know what a CD and a hand written letter are. However, this is my effort to try the new fangled thing of blogging....care to stumble through it with me?
I slept in this morning after finishing the last Niko (www.ywamsalem.org/niko) of the season. I woke up to rain and a stiff breeze against the window pane...Fall seems to have arrived. It held off during our last Niko for which I am grateful. So, in the midst of doing my laundry and re-organizing my gear from a Niko pack to a search and rescue pack, I have been reflecting on this past Niko season. 'A Niko Season' refers to more than the individual weeks I am out in the woods....there is always so much more to how God moves in us when it comes to Him speaking into our lives.....seasons are just that....a time for everything He wants to both begin and finish within us. He is, after all, the Author and Finisher of our faith.
So, I'll start with the beginning. Last summer I was challenged with not getting discouraged. We had scheduled 5 Nikos and seen only 2 come to completion and the others canceled due to a lack of participants. In the natural it seemed that no matter how hard I tried I didn't understand what God was doing where the program was concerned. I felt I was to pray for 6 Nikos and we ended up with 2. God showed me that what He wanted to accomplish was not about the program, but rather the change and growth in myself and in the investment of my summer interns and staff as leaders.....He spoke that He didn't need a leadership training program to teach leadership...by the end of the summer I 'saw' and understood what He had been doing and it was both humbling and beautiful! And...He even blessed us with 2 Nikos anyway!
In December of last year, God and I were conversing about Niko Season 2011 and where I felt He wanted to take the program....I'll be honest, it kinda scared me and excited me all at the same time. I felt we were to run the program no matter the number of participants on a Niko and no matter how SMALL, He would go BIG. You know that doesn't seem like a big deal....unless you look at numbers and realize that you need 15 participants to run a Niko and keep it in the black, plus you need 8 staff to do that and I was the only one bumping around the office in the winter. However, black is just a color in God's pallet of all the other colors...actually if I remember right I think black is the presence of all colors...He's amazing that way...and well, staff that's no big deal to God! So, gritting my teeth, asking for prayer, crying, feeling frustrated and finally giving up (which would have made the whole process simpler in the first place) I let go and jumped in with both feet. Then I waited and waited....and well by this time it was getting into spring and no Nikos on the schedule and no staff who felt they were to commit to the summer season. Well, I felt God had said He had it covered, but you know sometimes I just have this thing that pops up it's ugly head called 'performance and responsibility' and I needed to solve it! Let's just keep it short...God and I did some more wrestling over scheduling Nikos, where were the staff going to come from, etc. and as usual...He won!
So, to the end of the story. The first Niko was scheduled for the end of June, a late start for a Niko season, a group from my hometown of Grants Pass Oregon, led by one of my students from when I was a teacher. Josh had done a Niko during his high school years and wanted the students in the Youth for Christ group that he led to experience the life changing impact that Niko had on him. We had 7 participants....remember I said you need 15 to run a Niko? Well, God doesn't need numbers, He needs availability and He fills in the holes...so we managed to add a couple more people and ran the Niko with 9 participants. It went well and it was so refreshing to watch Josh with the students. I was so blessed to see how God was using a young man I had watched from 7th grade to the man God had made him to be minister into the lives of others. By this time, God had provided our Niko team with 2 interns and long-term Niko staff who were committed to helping with Niko for the season. I was still praying for staff in whom I could invest for the main roles on a Niko of directing, leading and teaching....roles that take more than just a few Nikos to train and a much bigger commitment.
During the next month, we saw three more Nikos scheduled...all for August and September....what to do with interns for the month of July? Internships with Niko are not just about learning the program, but challenging to look beyond the immediate to what other ways God wants to teach. So, the interns spent their days not only prepping the gear and location of the Niko program, to lead, teach, etc, but also worked on the Salem Ropes Challenge course (www.ywamsalem.org/ropes) learning about facilitating groups through the course. The time commitment is not only about learning how to actually run the elements on the course and the skills used to do it safely, but also how to process with the clients from all walks of life and to be the person in charge of set up and running the ropes team for the day. It is some ways like drinking from a fire hydrant, but the result brings a well rounded learning experience to the interns that gives them great tools for their own leadership development.
In August we ran a Niko for a Korean church from Seattle Washington. We had 12 participants, but they blessed us with covering the cost of 15 participants. We saw young ladies make decisions about their walk with the Lord! It was awesome. On this Niko I also was able to begin the process of seeing God's promise of more staff learning the long term roles of directing, leading and teaching on the Niko. A process that takes doing these roles multiple times to be considered ready to do the without supervision. How amazing that God had scheduled 3 Nikos so that this process could begin. In September, I saw another break through I had been praying for. At the Salem base it is difficult for our staff to be able to find the time to participate in a Niko and I really wanted to see how we as a Niko program could be a part of helping to develop leadership within the staff. The staff wear so many hats and keeping schools and ministries running takes not only the season the school runs, but also the promotion and preparation for those schools....summer is especially busy. Also, rotating support raising, continued education/training and vacation times, means there is little time left in the year....this September the Fall Discipleship Training staff scheduled a Niko with us. The combination of staff that had committed to running the school had never had the opportunity to work together before and the school leader decided to have them participate in a Niko as a team building opportunity. There were 7 of them....so, Samuel and the Niko staff began praying for more participants. We ran the Niko with 16 people! It was an amazing time! The last Niko was with a group of Corvallis Oregon. We had 12 participants and saw them really dive into all the challenges. They are in a six month discipleship program with their church affiliation and will be heading overseas to do an outreach at the end of their lecture phase. In hearing what God had given them during the Niko, lives were changed!
So, this morning I sit and ponder. On Niko, the staff are often up before dawn breaks (probably the only time that happens for most of us) and the last morning of Niko was the same. As I stood by the pond and watched the sun rise I was reminded of God's faithfulness. All summer it was reflected through nature (the growth of a tree, sunrise every day), through praying with groups leaders and with my team, hearing the testimonies of participants and staff, and declaring out loud many times the choice to 'let go and let God' then seeing Him show Me once again His character.
Thank you to all of you who pray, support, encourage, and love along beside me. I know you give to the Lord and I am so blessed to have a part in that. A couple of weeks ago we had a staff conference at our base and the theme was Intimacy. We talked about what it means to be 'working lovers and not loving workers' for God. A quote stood out to me...."When we are relationally oriented first, we do not work in ministry because of a need to feel successful. We already feel successful because of our relationship with Jesus. Instead we launch out and do the work of the Great Commission from a foundation of success. This sense of success equips us to continue working even when we face adversity. But if we work because we are trying to achieve success, we will burn out quickly through added temptation and strife. Lovers will always serve more willingly, easily and tirelessly than workers ever do." from "The Pleasures of Loving God" by Mike Bickle, copyright 2000, Published by Creation House Thank you for being 'working lovers'.
Blessings,
Rhoda Scherrer
I slept in this morning after finishing the last Niko (www.ywamsalem.org/niko) of the season. I woke up to rain and a stiff breeze against the window pane...Fall seems to have arrived. It held off during our last Niko for which I am grateful. So, in the midst of doing my laundry and re-organizing my gear from a Niko pack to a search and rescue pack, I have been reflecting on this past Niko season. 'A Niko Season' refers to more than the individual weeks I am out in the woods....there is always so much more to how God moves in us when it comes to Him speaking into our lives.....seasons are just that....a time for everything He wants to both begin and finish within us. He is, after all, the Author and Finisher of our faith.
So, I'll start with the beginning. Last summer I was challenged with not getting discouraged. We had scheduled 5 Nikos and seen only 2 come to completion and the others canceled due to a lack of participants. In the natural it seemed that no matter how hard I tried I didn't understand what God was doing where the program was concerned. I felt I was to pray for 6 Nikos and we ended up with 2. God showed me that what He wanted to accomplish was not about the program, but rather the change and growth in myself and in the investment of my summer interns and staff as leaders.....He spoke that He didn't need a leadership training program to teach leadership...by the end of the summer I 'saw' and understood what He had been doing and it was both humbling and beautiful! And...He even blessed us with 2 Nikos anyway!
In December of last year, God and I were conversing about Niko Season 2011 and where I felt He wanted to take the program....I'll be honest, it kinda scared me and excited me all at the same time. I felt we were to run the program no matter the number of participants on a Niko and no matter how SMALL, He would go BIG. You know that doesn't seem like a big deal....unless you look at numbers and realize that you need 15 participants to run a Niko and keep it in the black, plus you need 8 staff to do that and I was the only one bumping around the office in the winter. However, black is just a color in God's pallet of all the other colors...actually if I remember right I think black is the presence of all colors...He's amazing that way...and well, staff that's no big deal to God! So, gritting my teeth, asking for prayer, crying, feeling frustrated and finally giving up (which would have made the whole process simpler in the first place) I let go and jumped in with both feet. Then I waited and waited....and well by this time it was getting into spring and no Nikos on the schedule and no staff who felt they were to commit to the summer season. Well, I felt God had said He had it covered, but you know sometimes I just have this thing that pops up it's ugly head called 'performance and responsibility' and I needed to solve it! Let's just keep it short...God and I did some more wrestling over scheduling Nikos, where were the staff going to come from, etc. and as usual...He won!
So, to the end of the story. The first Niko was scheduled for the end of June, a late start for a Niko season, a group from my hometown of Grants Pass Oregon, led by one of my students from when I was a teacher. Josh had done a Niko during his high school years and wanted the students in the Youth for Christ group that he led to experience the life changing impact that Niko had on him. We had 7 participants....remember I said you need 15 to run a Niko? Well, God doesn't need numbers, He needs availability and He fills in the holes...so we managed to add a couple more people and ran the Niko with 9 participants. It went well and it was so refreshing to watch Josh with the students. I was so blessed to see how God was using a young man I had watched from 7th grade to the man God had made him to be minister into the lives of others. By this time, God had provided our Niko team with 2 interns and long-term Niko staff who were committed to helping with Niko for the season. I was still praying for staff in whom I could invest for the main roles on a Niko of directing, leading and teaching....roles that take more than just a few Nikos to train and a much bigger commitment.
During the next month, we saw three more Nikos scheduled...all for August and September....what to do with interns for the month of July? Internships with Niko are not just about learning the program, but challenging to look beyond the immediate to what other ways God wants to teach. So, the interns spent their days not only prepping the gear and location of the Niko program, to lead, teach, etc, but also worked on the Salem Ropes Challenge course (www.ywamsalem.org/ropes) learning about facilitating groups through the course. The time commitment is not only about learning how to actually run the elements on the course and the skills used to do it safely, but also how to process with the clients from all walks of life and to be the person in charge of set up and running the ropes team for the day. It is some ways like drinking from a fire hydrant, but the result brings a well rounded learning experience to the interns that gives them great tools for their own leadership development.
In August we ran a Niko for a Korean church from Seattle Washington. We had 12 participants, but they blessed us with covering the cost of 15 participants. We saw young ladies make decisions about their walk with the Lord! It was awesome. On this Niko I also was able to begin the process of seeing God's promise of more staff learning the long term roles of directing, leading and teaching on the Niko. A process that takes doing these roles multiple times to be considered ready to do the without supervision. How amazing that God had scheduled 3 Nikos so that this process could begin. In September, I saw another break through I had been praying for. At the Salem base it is difficult for our staff to be able to find the time to participate in a Niko and I really wanted to see how we as a Niko program could be a part of helping to develop leadership within the staff. The staff wear so many hats and keeping schools and ministries running takes not only the season the school runs, but also the promotion and preparation for those schools....summer is especially busy. Also, rotating support raising, continued education/training and vacation times, means there is little time left in the year....this September the Fall Discipleship Training staff scheduled a Niko with us. The combination of staff that had committed to running the school had never had the opportunity to work together before and the school leader decided to have them participate in a Niko as a team building opportunity. There were 7 of them....so, Samuel and the Niko staff began praying for more participants. We ran the Niko with 16 people! It was an amazing time! The last Niko was with a group of Corvallis Oregon. We had 12 participants and saw them really dive into all the challenges. They are in a six month discipleship program with their church affiliation and will be heading overseas to do an outreach at the end of their lecture phase. In hearing what God had given them during the Niko, lives were changed!
So, this morning I sit and ponder. On Niko, the staff are often up before dawn breaks (probably the only time that happens for most of us) and the last morning of Niko was the same. As I stood by the pond and watched the sun rise I was reminded of God's faithfulness. All summer it was reflected through nature (the growth of a tree, sunrise every day), through praying with groups leaders and with my team, hearing the testimonies of participants and staff, and declaring out loud many times the choice to 'let go and let God' then seeing Him show Me once again His character.
Thank you to all of you who pray, support, encourage, and love along beside me. I know you give to the Lord and I am so blessed to have a part in that. A couple of weeks ago we had a staff conference at our base and the theme was Intimacy. We talked about what it means to be 'working lovers and not loving workers' for God. A quote stood out to me...."When we are relationally oriented first, we do not work in ministry because of a need to feel successful. We already feel successful because of our relationship with Jesus. Instead we launch out and do the work of the Great Commission from a foundation of success. This sense of success equips us to continue working even when we face adversity. But if we work because we are trying to achieve success, we will burn out quickly through added temptation and strife. Lovers will always serve more willingly, easily and tirelessly than workers ever do." from "The Pleasures of Loving God" by Mike Bickle, copyright 2000, Published by Creation House Thank you for being 'working lovers'.
Blessings,
Rhoda Scherrer
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